Dating through meeting

Editor’s note: Jess Roe is a photo editor at Zulily where she creates beautiful visual experience that makes Zulily's product detail pages stylish. In this article, Jess talks about her experiences with online dating and list some of her concerns in the current online dating model.

Ask any of my friends; my biggest pet peeve with online dating is talking to a guy who wants to chitchat, but never pulls the trigger of meeting in person. You know a few emails are great to establish a connection, but when it gets to the point of sharing one’s whole life, emailing just doesn't help! You got to meet face to face to express your true self.

I was thinking about it the other day, all great or meaningful relationships in my life have always started out slowly. You meet someone new, they seem cool, you have a few things in common, and you hang out. It’s not usually instantaneous with sparks flying and fireworks going off. However, it’s through shared experiences, inside jokes, and time, that you begin to realize the depth of another person. 

I’m guilty of approaching online dating the opposite way. I create this vision in my mind of the guy I’m expecting to meet, and if he doesn't match what I'm "looking" for after the first date, it’s easy to move on to the next guy. We end up screwing ourselves over with our preconceived notion that we’re instantly going to hit it off with this person we think we already know.

I think a lot of this has come from the misconception that it’s bad to date more than one person. Dating shouldn’t be treated like an audition; it should be seen as an opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of another person. Online dating needs to less about sitting behind your computer and more about interacting, getting to know each other, and allowing a new relationship to form. Take a risk; you never know when you might hit it off with someone.